


Bellamy's Bad Afternoon

by these_dreams_go_on



Series: In the Bunker [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Gen, Humour, In the bunker, Post Season 4, Slow-burn Bellarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/these_dreams_go_on/pseuds/these_dreams_go_on
Summary: Bellamy's streak of bad luck continues in the bunker





	Bellamy's Bad Afternoon

Bellamy Blake was _not_ having a good afternoon.

It had started okay, not overly great, the monotony of the bunker was sending people a little stir crazy, but it wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle.

He was hanging out with his sister in her office, his feet on her desk while she tore up bits of old paper to scrunch into balls and throw at him, when Abby’s voice sounded over the p.a system.

 

“ _Attention Skai-kru members,_ ” she announced, “ _Please convene in the entry chamber._ ”

 

Bellamy had tilted his head back to listen to the message, allowing Octavia a clear shot to his neck, the paper bouncing down to his chest,

“What’s going on?” he asked,

“No idea,” she said, pushing herself to her feet, “Maybe it’s a coup?”

He glares at her, “Not funny, O!”

She shrugs, “What? I’m so bored I’d almost welcome a little bloodshed, I don’t even fight with Roan anymore!”

“Wow, marital bliss,” Bellamy snapped, “Must be terrible.”

“Oh, go float yourself,” she snaps, “You’d be bored too if you stopped pretending you and Clarke aren’t crazy in love with each other.”

 

He covers her mouth to make her shut up and she shakes him off just as they reach the ramp where Abby was waiting with Jackson and Kane as people filled the chamber, Skai-kru with a few curious grounders mixed in.

 

“Wish me luck.” Abby says, jokingly.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” she called down to the crowd, “I’m sure you’ve all lost track of the days, but…it’s that time of year again.”

 

A few realize where she’s going before the others and begin booing, alerting the rest to her intentions.

 

“Yes!” she shouts over their catcalling, “The annual STI checks! No-one is exempt, Jackson and I will be examining _each_ and _every_ last one of you over the age of sixteen.”

“Lucky us.” Jackson mutters under his breath and Bellamy smirks in sympathy.

“Hey!” a voice calls and Jasper reaches up for one of the ramp railings, using it to hoist himself up above the heads of the crowd, he waves his free arm above his head wildly, “ _Hey!_ ”

Abby shakes her head, frowning, “Yes, Mr Jordan?” she prompts, “You have a question?” 

His grin is positively evil, “Yeah, can’t you just check Bellamy Blake and let the rest of us know if we should be concerned?”

Bellamy’s jaw drops, “ _Screw you_ , Jasper!” he shouts above the shrieks of laughter from the crowd,

“Well,” Jasper calls back, having to raise his voice, “Not yet, but I assume I’m on your to-do list.” 

 

Abby has her lips pressed together as she loses the crowd and Kane is eyeing Bellamy with disapproval and burgeoning concern.

 

“ _Everyone_ will be tested,” she repeats, “No exceptions.”

“Wait!” Monty shouts from his position with his shoulder supporting one of Jasper’s feet, “What about the persons who _haven’t_ slept with Bellamy?”

  
He was going to kill them all.

  
“Yeah!” Jasper cries, “Let’s have a round of applause for the one and only, Octavia Blake!”

  
Octavia holds up her hands, nodding as the chamber fills with mock applause and cheers,

  
“Thank-you, thank-you,” she says with fake modesty, “I would like to give a little credit to my husband and a _lot_ to the Westermarck effect”

“Why are you piling in on this?” he yells, the crowd’s hilarity nearly deafening.

“Why not?” she demands, shrugging, “Not my fault you’re a little slutty.” 

“Bellamy,” Kane murmurs under his breath, his fist pressed to his mouth,

“Just how many of our people have you slept with?”

 

Should have let Praimfaya burn him when he had the chance.

 

“Alright, alright!” Jackson hollers, “We are going to check everyone over the age of sixteen…but in the interest of fairness,” he adds, “We’ll be testing Bellamy first.”

“Just so you know,” he mutters, as Jackson puts his hands on his shoulders and guides him down the ramp, “I’m going to kill you all when I get the chance.”

 

He glances over the crowd and notes that at least Clarke wasn’t there to witness his humiliation.

* * *

 

Bellamy’s cheeks are still burning as Jackson walks him into the infirmary where they come across Raven sitting on the bed, nursing a small burn,

 

“What’re you in for?” she asks conversationally and he groans, “Don’t ask.”

“Mr Blake is first in line for the annual sexual health check-up,” Abby announced, coming in behind them, “We’ll take your blood first.”

“I think you took my dignity first,” he grumbles, beginning to roll up his sleeve as Raven laughed,

“Ha, ha,” she chortled, “You probably have _all_ the diseases.”

He pauses, his hand still on his sleeve, “Think that through, Reyes.”

“Oh,” her face drops comically, “ _Dammit_ …Abby, can you check me after him?”  

  
Dr Griffin releases a ragged sigh, “At this rate, if he does test positive for anything we may have to cull all the Skai-kru adults and foster the children to Trikru.”

“I’m curious,” Bellamy snaps, putting his hands on his hips as everyone in the room turns to stare at him, “Just how big a slut do you all think I am?”

Abby is prepping the needle, “Jackson,” she calls, not looking up, “Can you do an inventory on our antibiotics?”

“Bellamy,” Kane appears at his side, “May I have your gun?”

He glares at him, “I might need it later.”

“Which is why I’m asking for it now.” Kane points out, “Hand it over.”

He slaps the weapon into his palm, “Also, I’m quitting the guards,” he snaps, “Good luck finding someone to train the grounders.”

“Uh huh,” Kane pats his shoulder, “We’ll talk when you’re a little less emotional.”

* * *

 

As it turned out, Clarke had been meeting with the healers to try and determine whether any of the annual ailments would hit the bunker and how best to prepare, so by the time Bellamy is released with a clean bill of health, she’s just making her way to the upper levels.

  
“Hey.” she greets as he gestures with his hand, “I’m headed the other way, walk with me.”

She spins on her heel and falls into step beside him, “Where’re we going?”

“I’m going to kill Jasper,” he tells her and she hums, clearly unconcerned with his sudden foray into murderous rage,

“Any particular reason why?” 

“Yes.” He answers in a clipped tone, and she waits until she realizes that he’s not going to elaborate,

“Are you going to tell me?”

“No.”

She shrugs, “So, the healers have told us that there’s this sickness called wintam haken (winter ill) which is pretty self-explanatory, the symptoms sound like what our ancestors called the flu. We didn’t have it on the Ark so we have no immunity but hopefully it won’t be too bad.”

He nods as they enter the Skai-kru quarters and go straight to his dorm which is empty and he curses, “He must be hiding.”

Clarke smirks and swings on the bedpost, climbing onto his bed, “So are you set on killing him or would you settle for maiming?”

“Maiming means more work for your mom,” he points out, “And she’s busy enough right now.”

Clarke makes a sound of realization, “Oh that’s right, it’s STI check-up time.”

Suddenly her eyes go wide, “Does this have anything to do with Jasper?”

“Oh, come on!” he protests, “You can’t seriously think I _slept_ with Jasper?!”

She shrugs, “I don’t know, but you’re pretty angry.”

“When would I have even had the time to have sex with him?” he demands, “If I’m not on guard shifts, I’m training new recruits, getting my ass kicked by Roan and finally going to bed just to have my pillows and blankets stolen by you!”

  
His words fall between them, unable to be recalled and he’s worried that noting the frequency with which they share their beds might make the situation awkward, bring the realization that friends don’t sleep in the same bed every night when there was two to be slept in.

Clarke raises an eyebrow but otherwise doesn’t react, leaning back on her hands,

  
“Okay,” she says simply, “So if Jasper is in hiding, what’s your plan B?”

  
Burn the bunker to the ground.

  
He shrugs, “If you have any ideas, princess?”

  
Her grin is positively wicked and he’s never known her to have a cheeky side.

  
“He keeps a flask hidden around here somewhere, right?”

  
It turned out that the grounders had their own method for STI testing, a tincture that could be mixed in with moonshine with little change to the taste.

Two days later, when Jasper’s urine turned a bright blue, Bellamy was able to inform him, over the roaring laughter of their dorm, that according to the grounder healers, that meant he was clean.

 


End file.
